The Restrictions of Success

Success has always driven the human race. It comes built-in with our animalistic instinct to be at the top of the hierarchy. We incorporate it into our life plans because we rely on it, we believe it will fix all our problems or will fulfil others’ views of us. However, the value of success leads to us being held back. There are certain things we must look out for if we don’t want to be held back.

For example:

Setting expectations after success

When the time comes that we do achieve something, however great, we tend to set expectations for ourselves. We tend to think, “Now that I’ve achieved that, I have to achieve something better.” Goals are very important, they drive us to keep moving and allow us to have well-rounded lives. However, overworking yourself can be dangerous. Just because you have achieved something doesn’t necessarily mean that your next step has to be bigger. It can just mean that you’ve achieved something.

Overworking can lead to burnout, which limits your chance of success entirely. This leads to guilt and anxiety and can continue to spiral downward until you are torn apart. Set goals for yourself but also set limits. Dream wildly and freely but know the difference between what you might do and what you can. Success isn’t arbitrary but there also isn’t one path to it. Know that failure is a possibility but don't be afraid of it when it could lead to great things. Henry Ford went bankrupt before starting the Ford Motor Company. Oprah Winfrey was fired from her TV job before hosting her own talk show. Walt Disney had to close down Laugh-O-Gram Films before his movies gained popularity. Allow yourself to fail and appreciate the success you have now.

Speaking of failure:

Limiting opportunities due to fear of failure

Oftentimes, when we focus on success, we hold ourselves at the other end of the spectrum. We want success but our fear of failure holds us back. Saying no to opportunities or self-sabotaging out of fear limits the opportunities we have for success. Wanting success and fearing failure are not interconnected and are definitely not the same thing. Failing is inevitable but so is success so fearing one to get to the other is only contradictory. Have confidence in yourself. Learn from your failures so that you benefit from them rather than giving up your success to worry about failing.

“Flaws” and self-doubt

Self-doubt is extremely common. Flaws, on the other hand, are not. Think about an aspect of yourself, any at all, whether you think it is positive or negative, and think, “Is there a way to feel badly about this aspect of myself?”

If there is, then congratulations! You’ve found the problem with society: physical, mental, social, verbal, whatever it is, there are probably at least two people with an opinion on it and both will contradict each other.

“They look beautiful!”

“They’re trying too hard.”

“They look happy today!”

“They need to tone it down.”

“They really care about other people!”

“They’re being too invasive.”

“They’re so confident!”

“They’re too loud.”

There is no way to make other people happy because whatever you do, someone will be upset by it. Self-doubt is understandable but it’s unnecessary. Have confidence in yourself, do what makes you feel good (as long as it doesn’t genuinely hurt other people), appreciate those around you who like you as you are, and you will be successful. Confidence alone is a success but confidence can also lead to bigger successes, so whether you are happier with the former or the latter, try to have confidence in yourself.

To sum up, trust in your capabilities, don’t replace wanting success with fearing failure, and allow yourself to take up space and be yourself. You never know what’s ahead but believe that you can succeed and you will.